


What Not To Do When Drunk

by Raven052



Series: Frank and Gerard and Dan and Phil collection. [3]
Category: My Chemical Romance, Phandom
Genre: Drunken Kissing, M/M, Truth or Dare, drunk dan, video confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 10:25:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5704264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven052/pseuds/Raven052
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan has a confession, although he's pretty sure you've figured it out already.<br/>It's all fun and games until someone gets carried away...</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Not To Do When Drunk

“Hello internet.”   
The trademark greeting somehow still managed to sound somewhat enthusiastic. Habit? Maybe.  
The lighting was crap and Dan knew it. He hadn’t bothered with any proper set up, no checking angles, no script, no notes. Nothing.   
He slouched forward, both hands reaching up to pull the hood on his head down even further.   
He rubbed his eyes, and grinned humourlessly.   
“I. Am an idiot.” He began.   
A giggle escaped him, an almost hysterical one. Dan covered his mouth with his hand to try and stem the giggle, but it wouldn’t stop.   
“No! No. It’s not funny. It’s not. It’s really not.”   
The very, very faintest slur on his words, making the truth of his current state all the more obvious.   
“I mean. See. I know, and you know, I do some pretty stupid things. But I mean now… I have been a complete, and total fucking idiot. And I have… I have fucked up big time now. I’ve fucked- I’ve fucked so much up. And- and I am sorry. I am. I’m sorry. But- but I don’t know how to fix it.”   
Dan paused, his eyes going wide, staring out, above the laptop and the camera.   
“Oh God…” The words were to himself, but, like everything else, still recorded. 

He seemed to remember what he was doing suddenly, and he leaned forward, closer to the camera. “You wanna know what happened? Of course you do, of course you do. Well. One thing I can tell you internet. No matter what anyone else says, you are smart, you are so fucking smart, okay, because you knew, you all knew. And- and I wanna say I’m fucking sorry about that too. Because- because sometimes I made you feel bad about- about what you were saying, and doing, and, I shouldn’t have, because you were right! I was just- Guys. Guys. Please, understand, I was scared, okay? I was scared of what could happen, and- and I reacted badly. And I’m sorry. I really am.” 

Dan slumped, and rested his chin on his arms, folded on the desk.   
“Okay.” He looked up. “Tonight, started totally normal.”  
Dan paused, frowned. “Wait. No. Actually, I’m gonna… I’m gonna have to back up a bit here and explain something. See. We got new neighbours recently. And they are FUCKING AWESOME! Seriously, if you think you have good neighbours, you know nothing! Nothing compared to these guys. I- I can’t actually, I can’t actually tell you who they are, because me and Phil were sworn to secrecy.” A mimed action of zipping his lips closed and throwing away a key. Then he broke into laughter. “Plus, if I told you your brains would probably like… Melt and like… dribble out your ear and I just don’t want to be responsible for that. Especially as there’s probably gonna be some brain melting from what I will tell you. So. Um. Let’s call our new neighbours…. Ummmm… Jack and… And… Bill.”   
A pause as Dan started giggling. “Oh God, it sounds like ‘Jack and Jill’, right? Fuck. Right, well. That’s what we’re calling them anyway. So, Jack and Bill are like… So cool. And me and Phil have been spending a lot of time with them over the past few months. Just, hanging out, watching movies with each other, that kinda shiz.”  
A click and a wink aimed at the camera, before Dan shuffled back closer to the screen.   
“Okay, now, back to tonight. We were over at Jack and Bill’s place, and Phil had decided tonight was the night to start breaking out the board games. Because, you know, Phil loves a good board game, and even though-”  
Pause, squint, trying to remember the fake names he’d given.   
“Bill was kinda dubious about it, the rest of us managed to talk him around. Everything was great! We were having fun, some healthy competition, snacks were in good supply, drink was flowing. All a recipe for a good time.”   
Dan beamed at the camera, nodding.   
Then he sighed, letting his smile drop.   
“And then. Someone… An already mildly drunk someone who’s name rhymes with… ‘Shman’.”   
Dan pushed back his chair, pointing exaggeratedly with both index fingers at himself, while screwing his eyes closed, in obvious painful frustration with his past self.   
“Came up with the brilliant idea of the oh so very original game of ‘truth or dare’.”  
A heavy sigh, and Dan slumped forward on the desk again.   
“Wait!” Dan said, holding his hand up. “My genius gets better! Because I then added the rule that every time it was your turn… You. Take a shot.”   
Pause.   
Nod.   
“Yeah.”   
Dan sighed heavily, letting his head drop before looking up once again.   
“Now, since one of our new neighbours doesn’t drink, he was already amused by our behaviour and, really, in a way, I just wish he’d seen where this was heading because then maybe, MAYBE this all could’ve been avoided. But, I guess I’m just trying to find anyone but myself to blame. But there’s no one else. Just me. I fucked up.” 

-earlier that evening- 

Gerard sat on the sofa, smirking very slightly as he watched Frank shifting about on the floor, trying to get comfortable.   
Turns out the cushion he’d been sitting on throughout the game was no longer cutting it. Finally, Gerard took pity on him, and grabbed Frank’s arm, gently yanking him up onto the sofa next to him.   
“Better?” Gerard asked.  
Frank was still scowling slightly. “My butt hurts.”   
Gerard snickered. Cranky, slightly drunk Frank was adorable in Gerard’s eyes.   
“Aren’t you used to that by now?” An even more drunk Dan asked as he re-entered the room, carrying a fresh bottle of spirits, and balancing shot glasses in his other hand.   
Cue inappropriate, though well timed wink aimed at Frank and Gerard.   
Frank’s response was to pick up the cushion off the floor and throw it at Dan.   
Dan stumbled, much too exaggeratedly, falling onto the sofa, and half onto Phil, who pushed Dan off him, making Dan land, heavily onto his ass on the floor.   
“Owww!” Dan complained, throwing a dirty look up at Phil, who held his hands in the air, innocently.   
Frank was snickering at him. “Let me guess, your butt hurts now, huh, Dan?”   
Dan glared at him. “Why, wanna kiss it?”  
“You wish, kid.”  
“Children!” Gerard interrupted, laughing at them both. “I think that’s enough now. Didn’t we have a game in mind?”   
“YES!” Dan exclaimed, still on the floor. “The age old tradition that is… Truth or dare!”   
Frank sighed, heavily, then laughed. “Fuck, I thought we all grew out of this a million years ago.”  
“Never!” Professed Phil, making it very clear he was on Dan’s side on this one.   
Dan beamed proudly.   
Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank, and pulled him close. “C’mon Frank, you know it’ll be fun.”  
Frank rolled his eyes. “Sure. Sure. Why not?”

And so, the game began. Each turn taken involved the person speaking the truth, or acting out the dare also taking a shot beforehand.   
Gerard excluded, of course, who was trying not to laugh every ten seconds at one or other of the rest of their small gathering. Though he still joined in with the game. 

Things started to go downhill when Frank (who, it could be said, was indeed drunk by now, but as someone used to drinking who was pretty damn good at holding his liquor, really should’ve seen how much of a bad idea this was) dared Dan to play ‘gay chicken’ with Phil.   
A simple enough dare, two guys sitting facing one another, one has to put their hand on the others leg, starting at the knee and work their way down the leg. Loser is whichever one of them flinches first. Other versions of the game can include both guys with their hands on each others legs and working down. And there’s probably a whole bunch of other variations too. But they were going for option one.   
Gerard grimaced. “Frank, I hate the whole fucking concept of that, and you know it. It’s basically saying that being touched by another man is so fucking scary it-”  
Frank shut him up by kissing him, full on the mouth. “Gee. Baby. I love you. But shut up.”   
Meanwhile, Dan was gazing up at Phil. Neither of them had moved much, despite having had to get up for various dares. Phil was still sat on the sofa, while Dan was on the floor. Though, possibly, he had moved a little closer…   
Dan’s head tipped back, resting on the edge of the sofa as he grinned at Phil.  
“What’d you say? Up for it?”   
Phil giggled. “Ummm. Can I take a shot too for this one? I think I might need it.”   
Dan let out a loud laugh, and handed a glass and the bottle up to Phil.   
“You know. We actually did this once, in one of my videos.” Dan explained to the other two.   
“Yeah! That’s why I’m scared!” Phil protested. “He hit me before I even touched him and called me a pervert! Right on camera!”   
Dan fell forward laughing. “Oh God, what’d you think? If we done it properly, how many fan girls would we have killed with that video?”   
Phil ignored him, and slid to the floor to join Dan.   
“Yeah, right. Now, you promise you’ll do it properly this time?”   
Dan placed his hand on his heart, closing his eyes. “I swear I will.”  
Then he shifted back, crooking one leg up at the knee, foot flat on the floor. He tipped his head back slightly, and closed his eyes, as if concentrating.   
Phil giggled. “You’re taking this seriously this time, huh?”   
“Yep.”   
“Okay.” Phil shifted closer, hesitated, and laughed, hand covering his mouth. “I’m scared you’ll hit me again!”   
“That’s part of the game, Phil!”   
“No it’s not!”   
“Get on with it!” Frank shouted at them both, laughing and falling back more into Gerard.   
Gerard didn’t want to be the serious one in this situation, but he had a gut feeling this was a very, very bad idea. He almost wanted to tell Phil if he didn’t want to do it, that was okay, even though it wasn’t his dare.   
“Alright! Alright. Okay.” Phil said, lifting his hand. “Um. Ready?”   
“Ready.”  
Phil placed his hand on Dan’s knee, flinching, expecting the smack to his hand, but it didn’t come, so he moved it down, little by little.  
Dan’s heart was beating, hard, but he tried to breathe normally, not make it obvious just what he was experiencing. It was a battle between nerves and excitement as he felt that hand moving further and further down. Until the briefest, lightest touch to his crotch, barely at all but enough for Dan’s body to react to it.  
He snapped his eyes open, to see Phil beaming at him. “We did it! Yay!” Phil exclaimed, before jumping forward and hugging Dan tightly, knocking him on his back.   
Dan’s cheeks felt flaming hot. Low level turned on but now suddenly terrified. What if it was… Obvious? Obvious he was turned on and- and Phil was on top of him, hugging him too tight surely pressing at all the wrong places. Flustered and panicky, Dan pushed Phil off him, and got to his feet, albeit a little wobbly.   
“I’m just- I’m gonna get some water.”   
No one questioned him as he made his slightly unsteady way to Frank and Gerard’s kitchen.   
Though when he’d left, the three of them all looked at each other.  
Phil looked confused, and Frank looked quietly guilty. Gerard meanwhile looked concerned, though not enough yet to interfere. 

Finally, Phil got to his feet and went to follow Dan, worried he’d taken so long. What if he’d passed out? What if he’d hit his head? What if-  
Okay. Now Phil was over reacting, but Phil realised he hadn’t been keeping track of how much Dan had had to drink and he couldn’t recall Dan eating much that day until they’d got to Frank and Gerard’s. What if he was more drunk than they’d realised?   
He got to the kitchen, and found an empty glass by the sink, but no Dan.   
Great. So now it was hide and seek, was it?   
“Dan!” Phil called, hoping for an answer.   
Of course he got none, so Phil had to go looking for him.   
He tentatively pushed the door to the bathroom open, half expecting to find Dan throwing up.   
Though glad to find that wasn’t the case, it still left him with the question as to where Dan actually was. 

Eventually, Dan was found in a rather unexpected place.   
The light was off in Frank and Gerard’s bedroom, so Phil almost didn’t see him.   
“Phil?” Dan’s voice called out.   
Phil laughed, softly. “How’d you know it was me?”   
“Dunno. Just did.”   
Phil took a step into the room, minimal lighting from the hallway cast enough light for Phil to see Dan, laid out on his back on the bed.   
“Dan? You feeling okay?”   
“Mmm. Just thinking.”   
“Okay, well, maybe you could do your thinking elsewhere? I don’t think the guys would be happy knowing you’d snuck into their bedroom.”   
“I didn’t snuck… Sneak. Whatever. I just… Wandered in here.”   
Phil sighed, walking further in, and frowning down at Dan. “Okay, c’mon. I think maybe we all over did it a bit tonight… Time to go back to our own place I think.”   
Dan shook his head. “No. No. We’re- we’re fine, right? We’re fine. I mean…”   
“Dan. C’mon…”   
Dan reached out, trying to grab Phil’s hand, to pull him to sit down.   
“Dan, stop it.”  
“Just. Just sit with me a second? Please?”   
A moments pause where Phil weighed his options. “If I do… Do you promise you’ll come with me straight after?”   
“Promise.”   
“Okay then.”   
And Phil sat down, beside Dan, looking down at him.   
A few seconds passed.   
“Okay, we good?”   
Dan held up a hand and shushed Phil.   
Phil could only assume not. 

A few more seconds passed, then Dan sat up. And shifted closer to Phil, resting his head on his shoulder.   
“Dan? You okay?”   
Dan nodded. “Mmm. I think so.”   
Phil felt Dan’s hand on his leg and thought Dan was using him as support to help him stand back up. But Dan made no further move to stand. And it seemed like Dan was leaning into him more.  
And then, with hardly enough warning for what was happening, Dan had leant closer, and kissed him.   
Phil pushed him back, laughing. “Okay. Okay. Yep. Dan’s definitely had enough to drink for tonight. C’mon, let’s get you up to bed.”   
Dan ignored him, pushing away the hands that held him back, and kissing Phil again, more intensely now. Again, Phil tried to push him off, still laughing, but Dan wasn’t allowing himself to be pushed away. His hand on Phil’s leg squeezed, then travelled up, to Phil’s crotch. So Phil tried to push his hand away from there, only to have Dan refuse that also. He kissed deeply, wanting more, so much more. When he started fiddling with Phil’s belt, things went sideways. Literally.   
Phil shoved him off, more roughly than before.   
“What the hell Dan?! What was that?”   
And, from his sprawled position, Dan looked up at Phil, wide eyed, understanding crashing over him.   
His heart was in his mouth when he realised that Phil didn’t look angry, upset or even irritated. He just looked confused, and worried.  
“Oh shit.” He breathed. “Oh fuck I’m so sorry.”   
Then he scrambled to his feet, tripping as he ran from the room. He ran all the way upstairs, and barricaded himself in his room.

-back to the present-

“So, guys, I guess this means you were right all along. I do have a crush on Phil. But… You were wrong about some things too. Phil does not have a crush on me and we are not… Together.”   
Dan looked away from the camera, and swallowed thickly. “And, since I just sexually assaulted him, I’m guessing any vague chance there might have been, I’ve just killed, for certain.”   
He closed his eyes, and shook his head.   
“So. There you have it! That’s it. Truth’s out. And that. And that’s probably good. I think. Maybe. I don’t know.”  
Dan looked up, frowning in thought.   
“I should sleep.”   
Then he switched the camera off.


End file.
